This year, I decided I would like to live my year by one theme. That would make it easier to remember and stay on track when life gets chaotic. The theme for this year is "Live an Optimal Life." In the first week of the new year my herbal tonic that would increase the nourishment to my nervous system arrived. A friend of mine offered an indefinite supply of vitamins and helped me create meals that had proper food combining. Also, from Monday to Friday, I started my day with a 1,000-foot climb of Cobble Hill to see a panoramic view of part of Vancouver Island near Duncan with a view that extended all the way to Mount Baker in the states and Victoria Airport. The effect of the meals were such that they did not usurp my energy after I ate them. The walk left me invigorated. The vitamins increased my memory retention. The herbal remedy gives me more energy. That was just the beginning of the year.

    Every day I am reminded when I take on an activity, is this activity part of living an optimal life. If it is not, I find a way to change it.

    Currently, my life is chaotic. Part of my vision of living an optimal life is to meet a potential life-long partner. And I have met someone who may be just that. We are both seeing that possibility. However, that new relationship has brought a lot with it that makes it feel chaotic. It has brought qualities that attract and qualities that repel. It has brought fitting in the activities of a new relationship as well as staying on my own path. It has brought out my shadow side that shows up in relationship that needs to be worked through - and work, it is. It has brought the effect that a new relationship in my life has on my son. It has brought the sheer excitement and hope that comes with a new relationship and the despair at the possibility of it not working out. It has brought the satisfaction that comes with filling the need to be loved and the need to love. It has brought the subtle messages that emotions bring of when to spend time alone and when to spend time together, when to show vulnerabilities to a new partner, when to honour boundaries and when to be somewhat flexible. And, it has brought our past remaining baggage up.

    So the new challenge is to bring order to chaos in a way that creates an optimal life. Applying Emotional Intelligence by using the five-step RHUME™ model explained in my book (see below), particularly the Honouring Our Emotions part and all the other parts are key in developing a new healthy relationship. I have been more challenged in the last month than in the last six months to use emotional intelligence skills. Relationship is one of the best testing and growing grounds for applying emotional intelligence. I am having difficulty applying it because I am overwhelmed by positive and negative emotions or I want to be right or I get scared or I am confused or I am conflicted or I don't want to deal with it or I want my peaceful life back or I am overwhelmed. And, sometimes, I feel like a fraud because I am reacting to the emotion in the moment instead of applying my own model. Ahhh. This is where compassion for self comes in. And, I can do that.

    However, having said all that, I will stay the course and continue to apply this model. If I fall off track, I get back on. And I am sure I will fall off track and continue to get back on a few times. It is worth it. I know. It has helped me overcome 30 years of chronic depression and anxiety attacks and improved all my relationships (including the one with myself.) I now have the opportunity to apply it in one of the most challenging and most rewarding relationships that life can offer, that of a significant other.

    Last year, my theme was "It doesn't have to be hard and you don't have to do it alone."  It allowed me to grow and develop a social network of friends and colleagues in a way I would not have done had I not laid out a theme.

    Choose a theme for yourself this year. Write one or two paragraphs, then distill it down to one sentence. It will create a focus for you that keeps you feeling a sense of clarity and direction you may not otherwise have. What is it that you would like to attract this year? By creating such an intentional statement, you will attract those things into your life that will make your theme a reality and your theme will be your personal measurement tool to monitor your own progress. Go ahead. Have fun with it. It makes a difference.

And last but not least, take a look below and at www.johannavanderpol.com to order or see more about the book, the e-mail course, the teleclass course and free articles for ways to support you in your growth in honouring your emotions so you can live the life that YOU really want.

Emotionally yours

Johanna Vanderpol

Honour Your Emotions, Live the Life you Yearn For

www.johannavanderpol.com

info@johannavanderpol.com