THE five minute EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EI) NEWSLETTER - by Johanna Vanderpol
Live the life you've always wanted through emotional intelligence - www.johannavanderpol.com
This newsletter is a good way to increase your emotional intelligence little by little, day by day. Each issue will have an action step or exercise designed to increase your EI. This is my gift to you. Enjoy.
ISSUE SIX, JUNE, 2005
2. Change your beliefs, change your life.
3. Did you know?
5. Action step for you
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2. Change your Beliefs, Change your Life!
On July 5th, my 14-year-old son and I will be driving 5,000 km (3,000 miles) across Canada to move to Vancouver Island in British Columbia. This is a huge move. I have sold my house and let go of major clients. I am starting a whole new life. This brings me to my topic for today. If I hadn't been able to adopt new beliefs about myself and the world, I would not have had the guts to do this. What has changed? Why, my beliefs, of course. Let me explain.
Beliefs can make the difference between being stressed and being comfortable. These are the new beliefs I have adopted to make my transition less stressful and doable:
- I believe that this is a good move for my son and myself, and my son is ready and willing.
- I believe that my work as a coach, speaker and author in emotional well-being will be warmly received.
- I believe I will make new good friends.
- I believe I will find a place to live that I like and can afford.
- I believe that I have the emotional stamina to tolerate the feelings of missing certain things.
- I believe that I will be creating a life full of new and wonderful experiences.
- I believe that if it doesn't work, I can always come back.
- I believe the universe is supporting us in our move.
And I have taken action to start forming connections out west before I leave.
These kinds of beliefs and preparations have made the difference between me worrying about the future and looking forward to it. I have taken the last year to observe when I have a worrying thought and looked for a realistic positive thought to replace it. It has allowed me to connect with my strengths and take action to make connections with people I know or friends of friends. I feel secure in my decision. This is the complete opposite of the way I used to be. I used to throw up just before taking a one-week trip. Now I can move from one end of the country to another. And all because I have been able to change my beliefs. This is not to say that I don't get scared and worried. But I can manage it. They are only feelings. They are not me. And I can survive all kinds of feelings. I will not perish.
You too can start observing the beliefs behind your feelings. What thoughts do you have just before you feel depressed, anxious, scared or insecure. And conversely what thoughts do you have before you experience happiness, joy, exictement? These thoughts are just below the surface. If you look for them, you can tune into them. Bringing your thoughts into awareness while suspending judgment is a wonderful way to get to know yourself better. And it is a wonderful way to start to change anything you want. It all starts with you. You have the power. Go ahead. Tune in. See the action step at the end of this newsletter for a specific method of starting.
3. Did you know? Look at what's happening in the EI World these days...
I highly recommend that you rent the film What the Bleep Do We Know? It is a story of a woman who starts to become aware that reality is not what she thinks it is and that it is so much more. And that realization starts to change her life. Is is also a documentary woven into the story that interviews some very interesting and forward-thinking scientists that help us understand some of the mysteries and possibilities in life that open up whole new worlds of explorations as human beings. It is a very exciting film and I am grateful that thte directors and producers pushed their way through their challenges and brought this to the masses. The film focuses on the mystery of emotion in human beings throughout. It is very enlightening and sheds some more light on why we are the way we are. Go to www.whatthebleep.com for more information.
4. Quote - Optimism from the spiritual writings
True loss is for him whose days have been spent in utter ignorance of his true self. (Compilations, Baha'i World Faith, p. 141) - see www.bahai.org
5. Action step for you
1. Complete the following sentence 12 times:
If I want to be happy I need...
Don't censor your thoughts. Just write whatever comes to mind. You may have a few repetitions.
2. Identify one belief about yourself that comes from the above exercise that you think may be causing difficulty for you.
3. Explore this belief to determine if it might be faulty, inaccurate or unhealthy. If you can, ask 5 people who know you for feedback around any behaviour that might arise from this belief of yours.
4. Determine what healthy belief you would like to have to replace the unhealthy one.
5. Complete the following sentence 12 times:
In order to adopt this new healthy belief, I would need...
Then, take the actions you need to to make this new belief a part of you.
I would be interested in any feedback from people who try this exercise.
My next newsletter will come to you from my new location. It may not come until August because of the move. I am still available by email as I make my transition. See you on the other side. Until then,
Please forward this newsletter to someone you think would enjoy it.
Until next time
Regards to all of you
Emotional Intelligence Coaching, Seminars and Retreats
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For more information on emotional intelligence, coaching, authentic happiness and calendar of workshops , go to www.johannavanderpol.com
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