THE five minute EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE (EI) NEWSLETTER - by Johanna Vanderpol
Because of the masses of
information we are subject to each day, I have purposely kept this newsletter
brief. As a regular subscriber, this is a good way to increase your
emotional intelligence little by little, day by day. Each issue will have an
action step or exercise designed to increase your EI. This is my gift to you.
FIFTEEN, FEBRUARY, 2008
1. This Newsletter's Theme
- The Power of Curiosity
2. Did you know? - The
Broaden and Build Model
3. Quote - From the
spiritual writings on Joy
4. Action step for you -
Broadening your horizons
5. Services & Products
for you - Support for your life
1. The Power of
Curiosity and Boredom
Curiosity is a strength. It
broadens our world whether it be the world of ideas, friends, community or
culture. It probably expands our neural pathways as well. It provides
stimulation that can be satisfying and makes you feel more alive. It is the
opposite of boredom. It can reduce lonliness and restlessness. At its very best
it can reduce the risk of falling into a state of depression.
Curiosity is not necessarily an
emotion but can affect our emotional state. The message in unpleasant emotions
of boredom, restlessness, lonliness and depression may be that you need new
experiences of people, place, activity or ideas. Your soul may be calling you to
make some sort of expansion in your life, open up to new possibilities. Who
knows where it will lead.
I have seen many exciting and
life-enhancing states become more common place when I open up to curiosity and
see others open up to curiosity. For example, last week I was feeling kinda blah
and kinda bored so I asked myself what would help me feel better. The "answer" I
got was that I needed something new in my life. So I remembered a cafe in the
nearby city of Victoria, BC I had just read about in a magazine, got out my
map to see where it was, grabbed my computer and pencil and paper and drove to
the cafe. I spent two hours there, enjoyed the environment of somewhat eclectic,
bohemian-looking people, a bulletin board of all kinds of interesting events in
the community and local newspapers with interesting news. I got work done that I
am not normally motivated to do. One of the things I did was put my book
entitled Honouring Your Emotions: Why it Matters online complete with
book cover at www.amazon.com. The
cafe knew how to make good coffee. It was an interesting neighbourhood with
a new art gallery opening up. The need for novelty in an uplifting environment
was satisfied. I felt nourished by taking the time to listen to my emotions and
do something about it.
If I had pre-judged that it
wouldn't be interesting, or it was too far to drive, or that I would feel shy or
self-conscious, or worse still denied acting on the message in the
emotion. I would have deprived myself of an uplifting experience and
probably would have sunk lower in my original mood. Being curious and listening
to our need for novelty is one way to increase our positive emotions and hence
our health and well-being.
Barbara Fredrickson, a professor
at the University of Michigan, has conducted research in the field of positive
emotions and has created the Broaden and Build Theory. She shows that when we
experience positive emotions, we build the resources we need in our life to
withstand hard times and live a more optimal life. I think it is in our best
interest to try new experiences whether it is reaching out to a new friend, a
new book, a different magazine, a new group, a new conference or another
neighbouring town, so that we create opportunities to invite life-enhancing
people or activities to become part of our lives. Sometimes it is just one
activity like going to a new cafe once, with nothing else developing from it.
And sometimes the activity won't pan out as something we enjoyed. But if we seek
novelty as a regular part of our life, we will be rewarded the majority of the
time with pleasureable ways to spend our time and new opportunities to pursue
and hence more positive emotions. And then we can see the wisdom in acting on
the messages inherent in emotion states like boredom or curiosity.
And what better time to try this
framework on when many of us are in the doldrums of winter or rainy seasons. You
notice that it doesn't have to be big. It's not like we have to go to Jamaica or
travel around the world to satisfy our need for novelty. Many activities don't
require money. You can even go for a walk from your house down a street, through
a park or on a trail that you have never been on before. You can borrow a book
from the library that interests you but that you haven't read yet.
So, what if we made novelty a
regular part of our life. We would constantly be expanding ourselves and our
lives in new ways.
What will you do this week to
expand your life?
To learn more about the messages
in your emotions, take a look at "Honouring Your Emotions: Why it Matters" now
in it second printing.
Honouring Your Emotions is simply written and
full of profound wisdom and practical advice on how our emotions, when
appropriately managed rather than suppressed, can guide us toward a
more joyous, richer life. I heart-ily recommend Johanna Vanderpol's beautiful
little book to everyone.
- Dr. Candace B. Pert, PhD., Author of
Molecules of Emotion
2. Did you
More about the Broaden
and Build Model:
...it took Barbara
Fredrickson, an associate professor at the University of Michigan, to convince
my head (Dr. Seligman speaking) that positive emotion has a profound
purpose far beyond the delightful way it makes us feel.
Fredrickson claims that positive emotions
have a grand purpose in evolution. They broaden our abiding intellectual,
physical, and social resources, buidling up reserves we can draw upon when a
threat or opportunity presents itself. When we are in a positive mood, people
like us better, and friendship, love, and coalitions are more likely to cement.
In contrast to the constrictions of negative emotion, our mental set is
expansive, tolerant, and creative. We are open to new ideas and new
- from p. 35 of Authentic
Happiness by Dr. Martin Seligman
- Thoughts on joy
In this world we are influenced by two sentiments, Joy and
Joy gives us wings! In times of joy our strength is more vital, our
intellect keener, and our understanding less clouded. We seem better able to
cope with the world and to find our sphere of usefulness. But when sadness
visits us we become weak, our strength leaves us, our comprehension is dim and
our intelligence veiled. The actualities of life seem to elude our
grasp, the eyes of our spirits fail to discover the sacred mysteries, and
we become even as dead beings.
There is no human being untouched by these two influences; but all the
sorrow and the grief that exist come from the world of matter -- the spiritual
world bestows only the joy!
Abdu'l-Baha, Paris Talks, p. 109
4. Action step for
What one new broadening activity
will you try on in the next seven days? Report the results to someone. Make a
game of it. See what happens.
5. Services & Products
The Companion Workbook to
"Honouring Your Emotions" is back in electronic form as a 21-day E-course at
the New Price of $21
IN TWENTY-ONE DAYS,
YOU CAN INCREASE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. Yes, you read that right.
This is a 21-lesson program delivered by e-mail that will allow you to take one
small step each day to increase your ability to cope with life's challenges more
easily, experience more positive emotion and reduce negative emotion. When you
subscribe, you will receive a lesson each day by e-mail for 21 days complete
with an action step for the day. It is doable. And, it makes a
difference. Do you want to increase your emotional intelligence easily?
Then click on http://johannavanderpol.com/programs_EmailMover.asp. You
will be able to use your credit card through paypal with high security levels.
Go ahead. It's very safe.
WANT TO READ THE
BOOK? "Honouring Your Emotions: Why it
Matters" is a groundbreaking book now in its second printing
showing us the guidance contained in our emotions, the neurobiological messages
of emotions and a groundbreaking 5-step model on how to process our emotions so
that they benefit and augment our lives, so they are our guests and we are not
their slaves. To buy the book or read more, go to http://www.johannavanderpol.com/EBOOK_HYE.asp
and order for $19.95 CAN or USD. Now sold internationally.
Lower Price for E-book: The e-book (an exact duplicate of the
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postage costs. And you will be able to download it immediately onto your
computer and start reading it right away. Order it now and learn how your
emotions are better for you than you thought.
HIRE A ONE-ON-ONE PERSONAL LIFE
COACH: Anyone who receives this newsletter can now
purchase coaching at $75 per one hour session or three for
$200. What do you long for? As a member of
Coachville, a community of 70,000 coaches, experience in the corporate
world since 1991 and personal coaching since 1997, I can help you create your
optimum life. Call me at 250-597-2765 to make an appointment for a 30
minute complimentary session to see if this might be a good direction for
you. Or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org . Click on http://johannavanderpol.com/coaching.asp to
find out more about coaching, your accelerator to a forward-moving
Please forward this newsletter to
someone you think would enjoy it.
Warmly, Johanna Vanderpol
Emotional Intelligence Coaching,
Let me take you where you want
I would appreciate any comments
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