Dreams Into Action EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EI) NEWSLETTER | DE-STRESS with EASE using your EMOTIONS as a guide
Honour Your Emotions, Live the Life You Yearn For
ISSUE ELEVEN, OCTOBER, 2006
This issue is is exciting because today you receive two powerful tools. One is the first article in a series on De-Stressing with Ease, including one practice tool for you to try right away. The other article contains one of the most powerful tools you can use in your life to "live the life you yearn for." And connecting to your emotions is one of the key ingredients in using this tool. It is about creating effortless change whether it be de-stressing your life or meeting any other goal or yearning. What is the tool? It is the force of the universe that is always there for us. That is ready to do the work for us in meeting our needs, wants and goals. Whatever they may be. It is the Law of Attraction. Have you seen the movie "The Secret?" or "What the Bleep do we Know?" Well, if not, I highly recommend them. These movies will help you get in touch with what the Law of Attraction is all about. And the following article will help you get started in applying it.
And read on below for the exciting new course now available called "Apply the Secrets of the Law of Attraction." Make the Law of Attraction a daily part of your life. How wonderful to have such great resources available to us!
For all of you who attended the 12th Annual BC Women's Show in Victoria, BC and visited my booth: Thank you. It was lovely to meet you. Welcome to using your emotions to DE-STRESS with EASE. I hope you find the newsletters helpful. You will see that it will have two focuses that are related to each other. One is emotional intelligence and using your emotions as the messengers that they are. The other is ways to de-stress your life, again with the springboard to use your emotions as a guide. Be sure to visit my website at www.johannavanderpol.com to read other articles and look at other resources to de-stress your life and increase your well-being. For those of you who did not purchase my book "Honouring Your Emotions: Why it Matters": it can be purchased online at my website.
Here's to your emotional well-being.
From The Emotions Coach, Tools for Sustainable Well-Being & Low-stress Living
De-Stressing with Ease: StressSolutions
Stress is the #1 predictor of heart disease. Itís worse than smoking a pack of cigarettes per day. Deepak Chopra said that. So what is stress? Well, from a physical standpoint it is when the bodyís homeostasis is out of balance due to stress. Stress can be physical like too little sleep, inadequate food, lack of exercise, overweight, inadequate rest and relaxation. Or it can be psychological like too many negative emotions on a daily basis (fear, worry, concern, anxiety, anger frustration, sadness, hopelessness, depression). Stress can be described as a physiological response to the lack of fulfilment of a physical or psychological need. The need can be hunger, cold, heat, sleep or it can be the need for a slow life, more time to ourselves, a need to pursue artistic endeavours or other creative pursuits, a need for a more satisfying social life, financial security, increased health, sunlight, rest (different than sleep). The list goes on. When we donít follow our heartís desires, we set ourselves up for stress. When we experience threatening situations whether it be physical danger or conflict with another person, or a pattern of relationships riddled with conflict, we experience stress
Here is another definition:
Stress is what you experience when the demands or perceived demands placed on you by yourself or others (physical, psychological, intellectual or spiritual) exceed your perceived ability to cope and your perceived available resources.
It is one thing to be stressed from time to time. This is part of life and our bodies can recover quickly once the stressor has passed.
But it is another things to experience stress everyday from the demands we perceived in our lives. It is then that there is no relief from the stress and the body is kept in a state of hyper-vigilance; always feeling that it has to be ready for action and on alert. This state causes exhaustion and the body becomes at high risk of ailments from the mild to the serious. We become at high risk of headaches, digestive problems, compromised immune systems, diabetes, auto-immune disorders even as arthritis and ms and cancers and cardiovascular disease. The research is proving this.
So what can we do about it?
There are two kinds of stressors: internal and external. Most of the time we think we are responding to external stressors but in reality, we are responding to internal stressors. Eight per cent of all stressors, according to the medical profession and mental health professionals, are internal. What are internal stressors? There are four kinds: 1. personality traits (which we can do something about, contrary to popular belief); 2. thinking styles; 3. negative self-talk and; 4. lifestyle habits. My teleclasses and coaching are based on these four styles and proceed to examine each one and offer solutions that make your life easier and more pleasant. Today we will look at one thinking style at the end of this article and a practice tool that we can start using right away. Stay tuned next issue for another thinking style and what we can do about it. This newsletter will be the beginning of a series of the elements of internal stress and a practice tool to start using right away.
We need to start inside. We need to become aware of the patterns we have created in our lives that contribute to creating the groundwork for stress. We need to observe those patterns gently and with kindness to ourselves and without negative self-judgment. Then we need to give ourselves permission and commitment to find the resources we need to create a new foundation for our lives, one in which we minimize our stress. How do we do this? By deciding that we donít have to be immediately available for anybody, anytime, including our kids, partners, parents and friends. Even a toddler can wait thirty seconds before they spring into action. It can be a s simple as delaying a response by thirty seconds. It can be about recognizing that we are operating under a belief that if we donít take on everything that we can do, volunteer, work full time, care for our children, participate in all our childrenís activities, be available to our partners always, household chores and maintenance, that somehow we are a bad person and risk the disapproval of another person. That would show us that their opinion of us has more weight than an opinion of ourselves. Then we know itís time to find a way to develop some self respect. Ask inside what this might look lie. You will get answers. Another way of reducing stress might be to choose to do three things today instead of six. That can be applied to some degree at work as well as at home no matter what your situation. Sure, some things will have to wait. But the world wonít come to an end if a few things have to wait. And how about an e-mail fast, 24 hours alone, without e-mail, children, partners and friends. If it doesnít feel like that can be arranged, then make it a goal to work towards.
So, let's get started. Let's look at one of the thinking styles that contribute to stress. It is known as "Black and White Thinking."
Black and White Thinking
The first one is known as Black and White thinking. It is also known as polarized thinking, all or nothing thinking, either/or thinking or categorical thinking. This form of thinking has probably been the largest internal stressor in my own personal life which contributed to thirty years of depression. When I discovered that I could think in terms of and/and or the blended approach, a whole other world of frameworks, options and solutions opened up to me. I felt less trapped and less pressured. The relief was immediate each time I switched to this mode of thinking. When I used "and" instead of "but" in my vocabulary, it changed the feeling of a situation completely. In short, I no longer felt hopeless. I felt I had choices and the ability to act on those choices and I did. Try it. You will allow yourself to open up to a whole new set of possibilities.
In the next 24 hours, look for ways that you use black and white thinking. Just observe when you use it. Don't judge it. This is an exercise in observation, not negative self-judgment. Now, if you catch yourself using this kind of thinking, see if you can come up with an alternate internal dialogue that "feels better." That's it. Easy, huh? Well, actually it is. The trick is to become aware of yourself using the thinking style. Feel free to jot down any thoughts that come to mind as a result of this process and feel free to let me know how it went at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Next time, I will focus on another segment of my De-Stress with EASE course for you. There will be a new 5-week teleclass series called "Pull the Plug on Stress: It's easier than you think." If you are interested, send me an e-mail and I will keep you on the waiting list for the next course. It is $89 and includes course manual (e-mailed to you) as well as 5 hours of instruction and assignments.
If you can hire a couch to create a customized program for you, then you can experience significant change in your life with ease and in fairly short order. And... the course is an excellent way to receive the same benefit with less expense and connection to other people. You can make lasting change.
If you canít hire a coach or take th course, then you can feed yourself lots of free information in the form of newsletters, websites, books and other products at nominal cost. Now, let's take a look at the power of the Law of Attraction...
Have you Seen the Movie The Secret?
How Can Our Emotions Serve the Law of Attraction?
I am the one who researched the fascinating and exciting field of emotional intelligence. It enabled me to pull out of thirty years of chronic depression. Then I wrote a book called Honouring Your Emotions: Why it Matters. For the past five years I have been practising the Law of Attraction before anybody ever heard of it. Practising the Law of Attraction along with listening to the messages in my emotions (which is part of the practice) has changed my life. Now I would like to share what you need to know to live your life by the Law of Attraction and listen to the messages in your emotions so you can create a fulfilling life easily.
What is the Law of Attraction? In short, what you think is what you get. Whenever you get bogged down in too many details about this principle, whenever you are tempted to make learning everything there is to know about the law of attraction a big project in your life, whenever you feel like you need to know everything about the law of attraction before you try it, just try it anyways by remembering only one thing: "WHAT YOU THINK IS WHAT YOU GET."
Now, let me give you some background. There is an abundant energy in the universe that is available to all of us. When we think a thought, we are connecting to that universal energy. The universe will set in motion that which responds to your thoughts. So, for example, when you decide that you need someone to talk to today, someone will call you or email you, apparently out of the blue and you will find yourself talking to them. But the reality is that you set the wheels in motion by thinking the thought. Conversely, when you think about how poor you are or how lonely you are or how sick you are even if you say, "I donít want to be in debt anymore." the universe does not hear "I donít want" it hears what you focus on which is "debt."
So, I would suggest that you focus on what you want in life, not what you donít want. When I first started manifesting, it would take a week or two for whatever it was I asked for to appear. I started with small things. It felt safer. After awhile it would take about 48 hours. Then I noticed things started happening within two hours after I sent out the message! Whoah! I got spooked and left it alone for awhile. But it wasnít long before I started feeling that I was operating at a sub-optimal level, so I picked it up again and have been doing it every since. That was five years ago.
Now, let me share with you the simple steps I go through in order to manifest what I want or need for today, this month, this year, or in any part of my life.
Step One: Be clear and specific about what you want.
Be sure that you focus on what you want and not what you donít want. Start with something small. Make a specific verbal or written statement or both. Written has its own power because you can refer back to it. You could even have a specific book where you write only your manifestation statements. Some examples:
"Today I will manifest a stress-free and pleasant day."
When you go to bed, you are a snorer and donít want to disturb your partner you could say, "I will breathe freely and easily tonight."
"Today, I will find the right person to read my manuscript."
"Today, I will manifest the extra money needed to pay off my Mastercard."
"This year, I will live an optimal life."
"This year, I will have an abundance of friends that I enjoy and they enjoy me."
"I will meet the man of my dreams in the next sixty days."
"I will find the perfect apartment for me and my son in the next thirty days."
You get the idea.
Step Two: Send your message out to the universe.
Trust that the universe receives, hears and honours your message. Visualize your message as an energy stream coming from your mind and being sent by you into space in an upwardly direction.
Step Three: Let it go.
Be non-attached to outcome. Again, trust that the universe will take care of it for you. You no longer need to give it energy. It is not for you to decide how it will come to you. It is the job of the universe to decide how it will come to you. When you are invaded by thoughts of "What if it doesnít happen?", just remind yourself to trust the universe that it will do what is best for you. You will get what you need and want. And, believe me, I have done this enough times that it has been proven to me over and over again that my interest, needs and wants have been answered to my satisfaction. As you practice this as often or as little as you want, you will also gain experience and proof that will relax you, because you will see that it works.
Emotions and the Law of Attraction
The connection of emotions to the law of attraction is simple. Our emotions are our built-in guidance system. They let us know the direction we want to go in, the direction that is right for us, the direction that excites us in any endeavour. They help us go in the direction that the universe wants for us and that will allow us to make our highest contribution to humankind.
When we use the messages in our emotions to listen to and honour our longings, we can then use the Law of Attraction to manifest what we want.
I have used this method over and over again consistently for the last five years in achieving everything I want and it has consistently come through for me. I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life and continue to spiral upwards to new levels. I feel more valued and appreciated by people. I have friends that care more deeply for me than I have ever had before. I feel well supported to move forward and will continue to use the messages in my emotions and the law of attraction to make a meaningful and significant life.
Join us for this special course "Apply the Secrets of the Law of Attraction"
Secrets of the Law of Attraction five-week tele-class course
Now Available, New Companion Products to the Book: Honouring Your Emotions: Why it Matters
The Companion Workbook: Twenty-One Days to Honouring Your Emotions: Why it Matters
The CD AudioBook Honouring Your Emotions: Why it Matters (3 CD set)
Subscriptions: Send an email to email@example.com with "subscribe" or "unsubscribe" in the subject line. Your email address is kept private.For more information on emotional intelligence, resources, free articles, courses and other tools go to www.johannavanderpol.com.